Exciting Update!

I (Tad) was talking to a close friend several months ago about a job opportunity that came up. It was something I was really interested in (being a principal who opened a new school, which was a professional bucket list item of mine). While I didn’t get the position, the question he asked me has stuck with me since then. Not only about that position, but in all things. His question, “What if God says no?”

Very rarely am I left speechless, but at that moment, I was. I believe God’s plans are sovereign, and of course, I’ve told myself, “it wasn’t meant to be” in many situations life has thrown my way; this was different, though. His question was so direct and not wrapped up in any warm fuzzy encouragement, but it’s exactly what I needed to hear in that moment. When I feel like God isn’t hearing me or isn’t moving things along at the pace I want, I always come back to that question,” What if God says no?”

When I encounter situations where I have to be real and ask myself that question, that can be scary. It becomes the moment you have to consider something you really want that may not be part of His plan. I’ve also learned that asking myself that question is a good reminder that God may instead be saying… not yet.

If you’ve followed our blog, you know we haven’t posted anything recently. The truth is, there hasn’t been much for us to post. We appreciate the financial support that has come in so far, and we’ve made progress with the puzzle. However, there have been no emails of possible situations, no phone calls of a request for a last-minute situation (angel drop), nothing at all for over a month.

Last week I had that moment where I had to be real and ask myself, “What if God says no?” I started praying quite a bit about the adoption. Specifically, I asked that if this was part of His plan for us, He would reveal that to us somehow.  

I’m here to tell you that God has a way of doing things in a grand fashion! Not 1, not 2, but 3 possible situations were sent to us in a few days. The first one came through email as we were hiking Linville Falls in the mountains last weekend. While we were excited about a possible situation, we also had reservations about moving forward based on several factors in the information we received. We know that when it comes to adoption, there’s never going to be a “perfect” situation, but we have to weigh all factors carefully. After much prayer and discussion, we did not have peace about moving forward with presenting to that situation, but we have been praying for that mama and kiddo and the adoptive family who will be blessed with a baby soon. 

Maybe it’s a coincidence, but more than likely, it’s God doing His thing because the second situation that came up we were only made aware of because of the first situation that we didn’t have peace about. Adoption is complicated and has many moving parts, especially when you’re working with multiple agencies. But, for simplicity’s sake, let’s just say we would have never known about the second situation had the first situation not been sent to us.

We then received a third situation via email just a few hours later while we were working on the paperwork for the second situation. How’s that for God’s reminder that maybe our adoption isn’t a “No” but a “Not Yet?!”

We’re thankful that each situation’s timeline and due dates are a little different, allowing us to be considered for both of them. We are trying to be cautiously optimistic because we know that in each situation, there will likely be anywhere from 30-50+ adoptive families who choose to present to each birth mother. The odds are small that we’ll be chosen, but we know that God has already written our story.

Interestingly enough, the two situations couldn’t be more different. For privacy and confidentiality sake, we aren’t going to go into too many details at this point, but we can tell you that one is due in August and the other in January.  

Kristen and I were talking about which scenario is more encouraging for us:

  1. Hearing nothing and assuming the only situation we get will be “the one.”
  2. Being presented with many situations even though we know only one of them will be “the one.”

I’ve tried to convince myself that the first option was better because that way, we wouldn’t be let down by the “no’s” we receive. However, after over a month of not hearing anything, we realized option two is much better for us. Because even if we receive a “no,” it’s God’s reminder that our story is still being written and each no is bringing us one step closer to our “YES!”

Please continue to pray for us as we navigate our Road to Adoption. We appreciate all of the encouragement and support sent our way. We’ll keep everyone posted on these two situations we are presenting to, and hopefully, we’ll have some exciting news to share in the coming weeks.

Our First Situation

I couldn’t sleep at all that night. I couldn’t stop thinking about them. Earlier that day, we received an email that a birth mother was making an adoption plan and that she could be a potential match for us.

I was at Bible study and immediately forwarded the email to Tad so that he could review it while I was tied up. My heart was racing. Could this really be happening already?

I briefly scanned the email and saw that a baby boy was due in June and needed a family quickly. They would be presenting profiles to the birth mother tomorrow. In that moment, the details of the situation didn’t even matter to me. I immediately began thinking of baby names, making plans to have our home “baby ready” by early June, and envisioning becoming this baby boy’s mama.

I called Tad about an hour later, and he proceeded to share some of the details of the situation. I will spare any information about the birth mother or child for privacy’s sake. However, I will say that had this situation played out the way that we hoped, I would have had a baby boy in my arms in less than 2 months.

Unfortunately, as I was crafting the email with our required documents to present our profile, we received an email from our consultant that the agency had already received enough families to present. This was in less than 2 hours from receiving the initial email.

I was consumed with disappointment. I went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in a matter of two hours. Because this was our first situation, we did not know what to expect or how much time we would have to make a decision. In my sadness, I appreciated Tad’s perspective. He said, “God won’t allow a situation to work out that isn’t meant for us.”

It reminded me of a saying I heard years ago: “If it’s not God’s plan, you can’t force it. If it is God’s plan, you can’t stop it.”

Since that day, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about and praying for this birth mother and her baby. In her handwriting, I read of a scared young woman who was in a situation that made it extremely difficult for her to raise a child. In one email, we knew everything about her. Adoption became real for us in that moment. It reminded me of two important points about this journey:

1) There is no moment in life that I can think of where joy and grief are more present than in adoption.

Adoption is born out of loss.

Joy out of pain.

Continued joy out of continued pain.

There is so much pain in placing a child for adoption. And there is so much joy in adopting a child. May we be sensitive to this and never forget this.

2) Adoption can change your life in an instant.

Had we moved forward with presenting our profile and been matched with this birth mother, our entire lives would have changed in an instant.

We don’t have a nursery yet.

We don’t have the funds yet.

We don’t have any baby stuff, period.

BUT, we fully trust God to provide when the time comes and our hearts are completely invested in this process. So, we are ready. And we cannot wait to receive the call telling us “you’ve been matched”.